It's the sixteenth day and Christmas Day in the Sim Brother Couples house.
Last night, Aleks and Emery became the second couple to be evicted from the house, having lost eviction to Aisha and Corinne and Maximillian and Zsa Zsa. Shortly after, Bryce and Ofelia became the third couple to be evicted, having lost in a surprise eviction to Dennis and Lionel.
Sim Brother is about to wake up the housemates.
Sim Brother: This is Sim Brother... IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
Dennis: Are you trying to give us a heart attack!? Corinne: (Laughs). I know, right!? Scared the shit out of me.
Aisha: How lovely to wake us up like that though! I'm excited! Merry Christmas, everybody!
Dennis: Merry Christmas, darling!
Corinne: Happy Christmas, babe.
Tammi-Louise: Merry Christmas, everybody!
Wilbur: Merry Christmas! Kalyani: How exciting! Merry Christmas!
Naveen: Yeah! Let's have a bloody good one!
Wilbur: I wonder what they've got in store for us today.
Kalyani: It better be good!
Maximillian: I'm sure it will be! It's Christmas, after all! Zsa Zsa: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Kalyani: Merry Christmas!
Naveen: I hope we can get pissed tonight.
Kalyani: Oh, I'd love it.
Dennis: Lionel? Are you in here?
Dennis: Oh, my.
Lionel: Hello there, my darling. Merry Christmas.
Sim Brother has provided the housemates with breakfast as a morning treat.
Sasha: They're gonna spoil us today! I have a feeling.
Vaughn: Well, if there's ever a time to do it it's now! Aisha: Absolutely. They've been quite strict with us in here so far.
Corinne: Imagine if they did a surprise eviction later.
Sasha: Oh, stop!
Zsa Zsa: They wouldn't do that.
Corinne: Why not? (Laughs). This is Sim Brother we're talking about! What a better way to shock us!? Lure is in to a false sense of security...
Maximillian: They could do it, but I don't think they will. Especially as two couples went last night. I'm sure they wouldn't want to lose three in twenty-four hours.
Corinne: Good point.
Naveen: That outfit is superb, Lionel.
Lionel: Glad you like it, darling.
Kalyani: (Laughs). He's got a thing for you, Lionel!
Lionel: And the feeling is mutual. And if he likes this outfit on me, wait until he sees how it looks on his bedroom floor.
Naveen: Ha! Well, I wouldn't say no to much right now.
Kalyani: Just a reminder you are sat in front of your girlfriend right now. (Laughs).
Naveen: I'm only joking, babe.
Lionel: Me, too. The only man I have eyes for is Dennis...
Dennis: Bullshit. (Laughs).
Tammi-Louise: This is delicious!
Wilbur: Tell me about it. I've had pancakes in some of the most expensive restaurants and they've been nothing compared to us.
Zsa Zsa: Maybe they got a professional chef in just for us.
Tammi-Louise: On Christmas Day? Imagine the expense!
Wilbur: We're worth it.
Tammi-Louise: No arguments from me on that one.
Sasha: Are we doing our own Christmas dinner later? Zsa Zsa: Yes. They're providing the food and I'm gonna cook it all.
Corinne: You brave woman! There's twelve of us.
Zsa Zsa: I can handle it.
Maximillian: She really can. That miracle Jesus did feeding all those hundreds of people with just some fish? That was actually her.
Zsa Zsa: Are you implying I'm two thousand years old!?
Maximillian: (Laughs). Maybe.
Wilbur: And cracking a Jesus joke on Christmas morning. Only you, Maximillian.
Maximillian: It's the perfect time!
Kalyani and Tammi-Louise are in the bathroom.
Kalyani: It's a good job we're not limited on hot water because you take forever! Tammi-Louise: Is that your way of telling me to hurry up because you wanna get in here? Kalyani: Wasn't exactly subtle, was it? (Laughs).
Tammi-Louise: No, but you don't tend to be. (Laughs).
Kalyani: So, yeah, hurry the fuck up!
Tammi-Louise: Get in here with me, if you want? Kalyani: It's been so long since I've had any action, I can't guarantee I wouldn't get handsy.
Tammi-Louise: (Laughs). Best not then.
Sasha is in the kitchen.
Sasha: So much washing up in this house. Couldn't have given us a dish washer for today, Sim Brother!?
Vaughn and Zsa Zsa are preparing Christmas dinner in the kitchen.
Vaughn: What's that, you got there?
Zsa Zsa: Some sauce to put over the turkey.
Zsa Zsa: Trust me. It's absolutely delicious.
Vaughn: (Laughs). I do trust you.
Zsa Zsa: I make a mean turkey. My Grandmother was the best of all time though. To this day, we can't figure out what she did to make it so good. She never passed down the recipe, the selfish woman.
Vaughn: (Laughs). You sure it wasn't lard? It's what my Gran always used.
Zsa Zsa: Wouldn't rule it out.
Aisha, Corinne, Kalyani, Lionel, Sasha, and Tammi-Louise are in the lounge.
Corinne: What's the best thing you girls have got for Christmas?
Lionel: A snog with Rupert Everett.
Kalyani: No!? Lionel: Yes, darling. Yes.
Tammi-Louise: Well, I can't top that, but Wilbur got me a photo of my Grandmother as a little girl that I had never seen before. It was amazing.
Sasha: Aw. That's sweet.
Aisha: My family never celebrated Christmas when I was growing up, so I've not got much to mention.
Kalyani: I got a puppy once but it died a few years ago.
Lionel: Way to keep things light, Kalyani.
Kalyani: (Laughs). Sorry.
Sasha: Vaughn teamed up with my Mum to get me an amazing necklace once. It was worth quite a bit of money. He saved up for a few years. Bless him.
Lionel: Best bit of jewellery Dennis ever gave me was a...
Aisha: You're gonna say a cock ring, or something, aren't you? Lionel: What!? No!? Kalyani: I thought you were going to something rude, too.
Lionel: What on earth do you guys think of me!?
Corinne: That you're filth?
Lionel: I resent that! But yeah, it was a cock ring.
Sim Brother has gathered the housemates in the lounge to have Maximillian reveal presents the group are all getting.
Zsa Zsa: I hope this doesn't take long. I need to keep an eye on that turkey.
Kalyani: It's present time, Zsa Zsa! It can take all day if necessary.
Sasha: (Laughs). Agreed.
Lionel: Where the hell is Max!?
Vaughn: I think Sim Brother is giving him an outfit of sorts.
Naveen: Oh, God help us. (Laughs).
Corinne: This ought to be good.
Maximillian: Ho, ho, ho, children!
Maximillian: I hope you've all been good boys and girls this year!
Tammi-Louise: (Laughs). What the fuck are you wearing!? Maximillian: Isn't it amazing!?
Wilbur: Amazing isn't the word I'd go for it.
Dennis: I love it! It's very camp!
Maximillian: Thank you, Dennis! I love it, too!
Four minutes later...
Maximillian has been telling the housemates presents Sim Brother has arranged for them to get when they leave the house.
Maximillian: OK. Glad your happy with yours, Tammi. Next up, is Aisha...
Aisha: Ooh. OK. Here we go.
Maximillian: Sim Brother has arranged for you to feed wild cats at your local zoo. Aisha: WHAT!?
Maximillian: I'm just kidding.
Aisha: Oh, don't do that!
Corinne: (Laughs). That's literally her worst nightmare.
Maximillian: No, Aisha, you're getting a free place on a professional painting class!
Aisha: Oh, yes! That's awesome! Thanks, Sim Brother!
Maximillian: You're getting a pair of sneakers. I can't remember what type they were...
Naveen: (Laughs). One of my favourite brands, no doubt. That's fantastic. I'm very happy with that. Thanks, SB!
Wilbur: My turn!
Maximillian: Wilbur, you're getting a day out a Ferrari driving range.
Wilbur: Brilliant! Oh, I love that!
Sasha: Eeee! Yes! What have I got!?
Maximillian: A £900 gift certificate at the Disney store.
Sasha: OH MY GOD! YES!
Vaughn: Jesus. She'll be in that damn shop for hours when we get out.
Sasha: I'm so happy! It's my favourite shop!
Lionel: But so expensive. You'd get what, two things with that £900?
Sasha: (Laughs). It is expensive.
Maximillian: That's it, guys!
Sim Brother: Maximillian, your present is that you get to keep that outfit.
Zsa Zsa: Oh, for crying out loud.
Maximillian: This make me so happy! (Laughs). I love this thing!
Zsa Zsa: I want a divorce.
Wilbur and Zsa Zsa are in the kitchen.
Wilbur: That smells absolutely divine, Zsa Zsa.
Zsa Zsa: This is gonna be a good'un, Wilbur! I can tell you now! Wilbur: I'm excited.
Zsa Zsa: I think we're close, you know? Wilbur: Ooh! Really? Zsa Zsa: Go tell the others to gather at the table. Dinner is imminent!
Wilbur: Yes! Get in!
The housemates are enjoying Christmas dinner.
Corinne: Merry Christmas, everybody!
Everyone: Merry Christmas! Sasha: This is absolutely delicious, Zsa Zsa!
Dennis: Indeed. It's beautiful.
Zsa Zsa: Thank you, my darlings! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Kalyani: It's up there with the best Christmas dinners I've ever had! And considering both my mum and Naveen's mum are whiz's in the kitchen, it's not something I say lightly! Naveen: Agreed.
Zsa Zsa: Oh, stop! You kids are making me blush! Just stuff your faces and shut up. (Laughs).
Maximillian: You've outdone yourself here, my love.
Zsa Zsa: Don't you start!
Corinne: How is the meat both juicy and firm!? (Laughs).
Vaughn: How big do you want this woman's head to get, guys!?
Maximillian: Trust me, she can take a compliment... or a thousand. She's an attention whore.
Zsa Zsa: Let's not argue at Christmas, shall we, dear?
Kalyani: (Laughs). Christmas always leads to one row or two.
Sasha: We had one once about wrapping.
Vaughn: Oh, let's not discuss it.
Aisha: (Laughs). What possibly could have caused a row about wrapping? Sasha: He offered to do it all for me as I had the flu. This was a few years back. So I went to bed thinking it was all sorted...
Vaughn: And I forgot to do it.
Kalyani: Oh, Vaughn, that's almost a dumping offence.
Sasha: I was severely tempted. (Laughs). So, I had about an hour to wrap about thirty presents. All the while having the flu. I was absolutely livid.
Wilbur: Rookie mistake, Vaughn.
Vaughn: I've still not lived that one down.
Zsa Zsa: Well, Max, once wrapped a whole bunch of presents without labelling them.
Tammi-Louise: No! Oh, that's horrific! That sends my OCD mind insane!
Zsa Zsa: As one might imagine, we ended up not having an idea who anything belonged to. Meaning I had to open everything and start over.
Maximillian: A lot of very fancy wrapping paper was wasted. (Laughs).
Lionel: Why on earth did you not label them, Max!? Maximillian: I thought I'd remember what was what. It soon became apparent I didn't.
Tammi-Louise: I think what we can take away from these stories, are that men are useless at Christmas more so than any other time of year.
Zsa Zsa: (Laughs). It'd appear so.
Vaughn is tidying up after the group's Christmas dinner.
Vaughn: This is never ending. Literally never-fucking-ending.
Vaughn: Scrub... scrub... scrub. Why did I volunteer for this!?
Sim Brother has opened the task room as a fun room for the housemates to enjoy for the evening. Inside are a karaoke machine, a ping pong table, a darts board...
... a bar and a seating area.
Kalyani is acting as the bartender for the group.
Dennis: I'll have...
Kalyani: No. Give me a second.
Dennis: Excuse me? Kalyani: Just making myself a drink first.
Lionel: Oh, how very selfish of you! Kalyani: Well, I need a drink to steady my nerves... about... making all your drinks.
Lionel: That's the most absurd reason I've ever heard to try and justify anything. (Laughs).
Kalyani: Well fucking needed that was, Tammi.
Dennis: Now if you don't mind, I'd like some alcohol.
Kalyani: Fine. What can I do for you, Dennis? Dennis: I'll have a large martini.
Kalyani: Seriously!? You can't have a rum and coke, or something!? Dennis: What do you take me for, some sort of commoner!?
Tammi-Louise: Hey! That's my favourite drink!
Dennis: My point exactly! (Laughs).
Sasha is in the diary room.
Sasha: Hiya, Sim Brother.
Sim Brother: Hello, Sasha. How are you enjoying Christmas Day?
Sasha: It's been absolutely brilliant. I've loved every second of it so far. You've made it magical for us, SB! That's for sure! So thank you very much! In fact, I'm feeling quite tipsy already. (Laughs).
Sim Brother: Did you enjoy your Christmas dinner? Sasha: Very much so. Zsa Zsa did one hell of a job. It's among the best Christmas dinners I've ever had. That must have been some expensive meat!
Sim Brother: It was. Sim Brother had to go hungry in order to afford it for you all.
Sasha: (Laughs). And we appreciate that very much.
The celebrations are continuing.
Zsa Zsa: I'm gonna get myself another drink! Anyone else? Aisha: I'm OK for now, thanks.
Maximillian: Me too.
Dennis: I'll take another one!
Aisha: You've barely even taken a sip of the one you have. (Laughs).
Dennis: YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER, AISHA!
Corinne and Wilbur are having a game of darts.
Corinne: I'm so shit at this.
Wilbur: You can do it.
Corinne: I keep missing the board entirely.
WIlbur: You're allowing your misses so far to get to your head. If you do that, you don't stand a chance. Just clear your mind, aim, and throw.
Corinne: OK. I'll give it a go.
Corinne: Not bad.
Wilbur: It's on the board! (Laughs). Well done.
Dennis is still knocking back the drink.
Dennis: Mmm. That's some good shit.
Aisha and Vaughn are playing table tennis.
Aisha: Come on, Vaughn! Give it a whack! Vaughn: Take that out of context. (Laughs).
Aisha: Stop trying to distract me, you! Vaughn: I'm not! I swear! Aisha: It's the only option you have, because I'm just too good at this.
Vaughn: You're annoyingly good, yeah.
Aisha: I was table tennis champion at my school.
Vaughn: Could've mentioned that when you challenged me to a game! (Laughs).
Aisha: Aha! Vaughn: Fuck!
Aisha: Take that, put it in your pipe, and smoke it, bitch! Vaughn: This brings out a whole new side to you. (Laughs).
Aisha: Yeah. I'm crazy competitive.
Vaughn: You don't say? (Laughs).
Lionel and Sasha are at the bar.
Lionel: Sash... I have to tell you... I think you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen... in my whole life...
Sasha: Lionel, you're too kind. You don't mean that. You can't mean that.
Lionel: Shush. I do. I so do. You're perfection. You're perfection in a Christmas jumper.
Sasha: Aw. You're gonna make me cry.
Lionel: Noo! Don't cry! Crying is for bad days! And Christmas is a good day!
Sasha: It's such a good day, isn't it? Lionel: It's the best day! And I look fucking outstanding in this outfit.
Sasha: You look fit! Lionel: I look soooo fit, Sasha!
Maximillian and Tammi-Louise are performing a duet.
Tammi-Louise: YOU SCUMBAG! YOU MAGGOT! YOU CHEAP, LOUSY F WORD! HAPPY CHRISTMAS, YOUR ARSE, I PRAY GOD IT'S OUR LAST! Maximillian: Beautiful!
Maximillian and Tammi-Louise: The boys of the NYPD Choir still singing Galway Bay, and the bells are ringing out for Christmas day!
Tammi-Louise: FUCK YEAH!
Kalyani, Naveen, Sasha and Tammi-Louise are playing beer pong.
Kalyani: Come on... come on... YES!
Kalyani: HAVE THAT! TAKE A DRINK, LOSERS!
Naveen: You are such a bad winner. (Laughs).
Kalyani: Go on, Sash. Get those motherfuckers.
Sasha: I will!
Sasha: DAMMIT! Kalyani: WE'LL GET THEM NEXT TIME, THE FUCKS!
Tammi-Louise: I used to be so good at this.
Naveen: Me too. I'm rusty.
KalyanI: Any excuse, losers!
Tammi-Louise: Oh, I'm going to get you...
Naveen: Way to go, Tammi!
Sasha: Bottom's up, girl! Kalyani: This is some baaaad shit.
Dennis and Lionel are having a moment.
Lionel: How much do you want to bed me when I'm in this outfit? Dennis: (Laughs). How much have you had to drink? Lionel: Less than you!
Dennis: And yet I'm far more behaved! Lionel: Answer my question!
Dennis: Of course I want to bed you!
Lionel: You love me as a slutty little Sant whore, don't you? Dennis: (Chuckles). Certainly.
Lionel: You little flirt! Come here!
Aisha is performing for Corinne and Maximillian.
Aisha: I... DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS! THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED!
Corinne: Oh, God.
Aisha: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE!
Maximillian: Why is she shouting? (Laughs).
Aisha: I DON'T NEED TO HANG MY STOCKINGS, THERE UPON THE FIRE PLACE!
Maximillian: She's singing completely the wrong bit now.
Aisha: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOOOU!
Maximillian: Dear God. This is never ending.
Corinne: She's one of the worst singers, Max. Honestly. And yet when she drinks, she doesn't stop.
Aisha: ARE YOU ENJOYING IT!?
Corinne: Of course! It's amazing! Maximillian: Kill me now.
Vaughn, Wilbur, and Zsa Zsa are in the diary room.
Wilbur: SIM BROTHER!
Sim Brother: Hello, Vaughn. Hello, Wilbur. Hello, Zsa Zsa. How are you?
Vaughn: We would very much like to request even more alcohol please! Wilbur: We estimate we'll run out within the hour... or two!
Sim Brother: Sim Brother will not be providing any more alcohol to the house.
Zsa Zsa: But it's Christmas Day you sick fucks!
Vaughn: He actually hates us. He hates us.
Wilbur: I can't believe he's being this cruel! Zsa Zsa: What if we offer to strip!?
Wilbur: Ooh! Good idea! What if we strip, Sim Brother?
Sim Brother: The diary room door is now open.
Vaughn: THAT WASN'T A NO!
Maximillian and Zsa Zsa are heading to bed.
Zsa Zsa: I don't want to go to bed!
Maximillian: It's for the best, darling. You threw up quite a lot.
Zsa Zsa: (Sighs). Fine. I'm not even tired though.
Maximillian: I'm sure you'll fall asleep in no time, OK?
Maximillian: Zsa Zsa?
Maximillian: Not tired, my ass. (Laughs).
A worse for wear Dennis is now also in bed.
Lionel is putting on a show.
Lionel: SANTA BABY, JUST SLIP A SABLE UNDER THE TREE, FOR ME. I'VE BEEN AN AWFUL GOOD GIRL, SANTA BABY, SO HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT.
Kalyani: Whoo! Go, Lionel!
Lionel: Dennis is man down, so any of you boys wanna hit this, you let me know! LET'S GO FOR THE NEXT VERSE!
Vaughn: (Laughs). Is it bad I'm a little turned on?
Naveen: Haha. He does look good in that outfit!
Vaughn: And I'm so drunk... and hard up.
Naveen: True that.
Lionel: WANT A LIONEL SANDWICH, BOYS!?
The sixteenth day in the Sim Brother Couples house has come to an end. Tune in soon for the highlights of day seventeen where the Christmas party continues into the night and the first last temptations of Christmas begin.