It's the fourth day in the Sim Brother Couples house. Last night, Aleks and Emery hosted Kalyani and Naveen and Tammi-Louise and Wilbur in their private quarters for drinks.
Emery, who fell in asleep in the diary room the night before, is still there.
Emery: Hm? Tammi?
Emery: Shit. Have I really fallen asleep in here?
Sim Brother: Hello, Emery. How was your sleep?
Emery: Uh... good. I have a headache, though? How long have been in here? What time is it?
Sim Brother: The time is 6:35AM.
Emery: WHAT!? Oh, Jesus. I need a bed. Sorry, Sim Brother.
Sim Brother: Sim Brother enjoyed your company, Emery.
Emery: Sorry, babe! I fell asleep in the diary room.
Aleks: What time is it?
Emery: Half six.
Aleks: Fucking hell, Emery.
Emery: (Laughs). I know. I'm a nightmare.
Sim Brother is about to wake up the lowest ranked couple, Sasha and Vaughn.
Sasha: Morning already. Dammit.
Vaughn: I slept really well though. Did you?
Sasha: Yeah. Not bad. Just so sick of the draft in here. I can't wait to get into the normal bedroom. Even if we don't get the luxury one.
Vaughn: Agreed. Two more nights, baby.
Sasha: Two nights!
Most of the other housemates are now awake.
Naveen: Oh, I wonder what today will bring.
Kalyani: One thing I didn't realise was with this ranking system, there's not any need for weekly tasks?
Naveen: Guess not.
Kalyani: Sucks a bit as the tasks can be fun from when I've watched this in the past.
Naveen: They can also be shit, too.
Kalyani: Something to do though, isn't it?
Naveen: I guess so.
Tammi-Louise is having a bath.
Tammi-Louise: Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight. We're happy tonight. Walking in a winter wonderland.
Roy is in the diary room.
Sim Brother: Hello, Roy. How are you this morning?
Roy: Tired. I didn't sleep as well last night as I have the other two nights.
Sim Brother: Why do you think you did not sleep well, Roy?
Roy: I'm starting to miss the kids now. The novelty and excitement of being here has worn off slightly. It's still great, please don't mistake how much I'm enjoying this experience, but you obviously get a high when you come in here and when that wears off... y'know. There's a lot of time in here to think and that can be dangerous. It'll be good to keep myself occupied.
Aleks and Emery are up and dressed.
Aleks: How you feeling?
Emery: Like I've been punched in the face by Creed.
Aleks: Michael B. Jordan? Ooh.
Emery: He's your dream man, isn't he?
Aleks: Oh, without question.
Emery: Would you leave me for him?
Aleks: So, you wouldn't leave me for Ryan Gosling?
Emery: In a second.
Kim and Sasha are in the dining area.
Kim: How you been coping in the bunker?
Sasha: I'm used to it now, to be honest. I can deal with the bed oddly enough, it's just the cold.
Kim: Oh, really?
Sasha: Honestly, Kim, it gets so cold just after midnight.
Kim: I'd hate to be in there.
Sasha: Yeah. I really hope we're not the bottom ranked couple again next time. We're gonna fight like hell not to be. Being able to use the toilet and shower inside... bliss!
Kim: Oh... I didn't think. I'm sitting here eating in front of you...
Sasha: Don't be silly. It's fine.
Sasha: I did want to thank you for how you were there for me on the first night, and how you've checked on me regularly since. It means more than you will ever know.
Kim: Honey, it's been a pleasure. You're one of my favourite people in here.
Sasha: Likewise. And I know you're a conservative woman as well and I don't want to make any assumptions about your opinions on trans issues, but you were so accepting and kind and that really was so wonderful to see. It often gets painted out that people on the right, and religious people, can be quite closed-minded and bigoted, and you just prove that's an unfair assumption.
Kim: Darling, I'm not going to pretend to understand it, but just because I don't understand something doesn't make it wrong. I love everyone. It's not down to me to judge anybody, so I don't. I try not to anyway.
Sasha: Absolutely. You're a good woman, Kim.
Corinne has a question for her American housemates.
Corinne: Right. I've gotta ask something I've been wondering about for a few days now. You yanks: any of you vote for Trump?
Zsa Zsa: Absolutely not.
Roy: We did in 2016.
Kim: Not this time around.
Zsa Zsa: I thought you were more of a Democrat, Roy?
Roy: I was but I've voted Republican on occasion. And I decided to give Trump a chance in 2016. Needless to say, it was a mistake. But I didn't particularly like him nor Hillary.
Maximillian: Surely you'd agree she would've been a better President than Trump, at least?
Roy: I think a broom would have been, Maximillian. (Laughs).
Corinne: But surely all the terrible things Trump has done was evident in 2016?
Roy: I thought a lot of it was campaign shtick and he would change once elected.
Wilbur: Well, you thought wrong. (Laughs).
Roy: Hah. Yes. Oh, well. He's a one term President now and that's a good thing. Even Kim agrees with that.
Wilbur: So, you voted for Biden, if you don't mind me asking?
Kim: Roy did. I voted third party.
Corinne: So you still didn't vote against Trump!?
Kim: I just said I did, honey?
Corinne: Voting third party is hardly voting against him. A vote for the only other person who could win is a vote against him.
Roy: People's vote are their vote, though.
Maximillian: Very true.
Corinne: Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased you didn't vote for him this time, but even in 2016 when he was saying what he was saying about Mexicans and the thing that got leaked about what he said on the bus? You'd still vote for him after that?
Roy: It's complicated. I didn't vote for him happily.
Kim: Me neither. I was supporting Jeb Bush in the primary.
Aisha: Because America needed another Bush. (Laughs).
Kim: Well, I liked him.
Zsa Zsa: No disrespect to you guys at all, but I despise the Republican party right now. I used to be more of a moderate, but they have pushed me so far left after how they've acted under Trump. It's like a cult.
Maximillian: It's not like a cult, dear. It is a cult.
Kim: We don't disagree with that. We weren't happy either. I'd voted Republican in every election except last month. I didn't do that lightly.
Zsa Zsa: What was the final straw for you?
Kim: It was everything. The stories about what he said about the troops... the lies he told about coronavirus. I lost a friend to it at the same time he was holding mask-less rallies and spreading lies. I was disgusted.
Corinne: Charlottesville wasn't enough? Russia wasn't enough? The constant scandals, corruption and cruelty? Ripping kids away from their parents at the border wasn't enough?
Kim: That all played into it too, honey, but people do have different opinions.
Corinne: Opinions are fine, but if you support Trump, you're a bad person, as far as I'm concerned.
Corinne: You agree with me on this! Aisha: Yes, but they've already said they didn't vote for him this time and they're speaking openly about their opinions and they have a right to do it.
Roy: At the end of the day, politics is so divisive nowadays that it's almost impossible to talk about amicably.
Wilbur: Yes. It's always been tricky to a certain extent, but it's definitely more so now.
Roy: It seems people can't disagree without being labelled a racist or an idiot, or whatever.
Corinne: But Trump is a racist. There's no two ways about it. He's never been ambiguous about his racism. It's what he started his entire campaign on!
Roy: Again, I don't disagree.
Corinne: And yet you voted for him?
Roy: (Sighs). I don't think this is really getting us anywhere.
Zsa Zsa: Yes. It might be wise to leave it now. We should all respect each other's views.
Kim: Of course.
Maximillian: So, pineapple on pizza. Yes, or no?
Kalyani, Sasha, and Tammi-Louise are in the bunker.
Tammi-Louise: Sasha, I honestly don't know how you've managed three nights in here. This s horrendous.
Kalyani: It's not very nice, but it's not the end of the world. (Laughs). There are kids on the street.
Tammi-Louise: But it's just... the feeling you get from being in here. It's like you're trapped in a shipping container.
Sasha: It can be. And the bed is dreadful too. And it's cold.
Kalyani: I hope I'm never in here.
Tammi-Louise: I honestly think I'd have to walk if Wilbur and I had to spend five nights in here. This is catastrophic. Sasha, you don't deserve this.
Sasha:(Laughs). You should see the shower we have to use.
Kalyani: Tammi, you are certainly a diva.
Tammi-Louise: I know, but... this is bad. I can't even stay in here. I feel dirty and claustrophobic.
Kalyani: She's so over-the-top, isn't she?
Sasha: (Laughs). Imagine if she does have to stay in here at some point.
Kalyani: Babe, she wouldn't last five minutes.
Maximillian, Roy, Vaughn, and Wilbur are by the campfire.
Vaughn: So, I heard there was a disagreement about politics earlier?
Wilbur: Not so much a disagreement...
Roy: I think it's fair to say it was people expressing their views and Corinne not liking it?
Maximillian: Somewhat. I think she actually held back what she wanted to say.
Roy: Yeah. I was amazed it didn't turn into an argument.
Wilbur: I think it's only a matter of time before she does kick off though. You can tell it's in her nature.
Vaughn: She seems to see the worst in people all the time, doesn't she? And she thinks she's always being attacked.
Maximillian: I think there's more to her though. Some sides and shades we're not yet seeing. I have a feeling she may have been through a lot.
Roy: Everyone's been through a lot, but it doesn't mean you can act like she does.
Maximillian: I could tell Kim looked uncomfortable.
Roy: I was too, Maximillian! I honestly thought it was going to turn into an argument. Well, a one-sided argument anyway because I know neither Kim nor I were going to rise to it.
Wilbur: I think you both handled it well. Not that I disagree with most of the things Corinne said, because I don't, but there's a way to do it I think.
Kalyani and Zsa Zsa are in the bedroom.
Zsa Zsa: You missed some drama earlier.
Kalyani: Fuck off. I'm bored shitless! I would've loved it! What happened?
Zsa Zsa: It wasn't an argument, but it was a tad tense. Corinne got a bit opinionated about politics. Though, she brought it up, to be fair. She wanted to know if any of us 'yanks' voted for Trump.
Kalyani: Oh? And did you?
Zsa Zsa: Give me some credit, darling. I'm a woman of taste. (Laughs). Roy and Kim voted for him in 2016, but not this time around. Corinne wasn't happy about it.
Kalyani: Can't exactly blame her. I don't understand how anyone could vote for that parasite.
Zsa Zsa: Yes, but it was uncomfortable. Kim and Roy weren't being hostile or forceful with their opinions at all and it felt a bit like an ambush.
Sim Brother has called Vaughn to the diary room to set him a secret mission.
Vaughn: Hi, big guy.
Sim Brother: Hello, Vaughn. How are you today?
Vaughn: Yeah. Pretty good cheers. Can't complain.
Sim Brother: Vaughn, Sim Brother has a secret mission for you.
Vaughn: Fuuuck. OK. What do you want me to do?
Sim Brother: Behind the sofa is an ear-piece. Vaughn, Sim Brother would you like to conceal this in your ear, leave the diary room, go about your day and await instructions from Sim Brother.
Vaughn: Lord. I'm nervous.
Sim Brother: Vaughn, if you do and say everything Sim Brother asks you to do and the housemates do not suspect you of being on a secret mission, you will unlock the gym for the entire house.
Vaughn: Oh! Yes! We need a gym. Right. OK. I'm in.
Sim Brother: Can you hear Sim Brother, Vaughn?
Sim Brother: Maximillian is in the snug. Walk over to him and tell him you like strawberries and then walk away without saying anything else.
Maximillian: You caught me in a moment of quiet reflection, my friend. Pull up a chair?
Vaughn: I like strawberries.
Maximillian: Right you are.
Tammi-Louise and Wilbur are in the lounge and are talking about Christmas.
Tammi-Louise: Can you imagine if we're actually in here for Christmas?
Wilbur: It'll be weird, won't it? I wonder how many couples have to go before that point.
Tammi-Louise: At least three, I'd suspect.
Wilbur: Either way, we're gonna have a great one. We'll be in here or we'll be back at home with the animals.
Tammi-Louise: I'm missing Trixie and Dixie so much it hurts.
Wilbur: I'm sure they're missing you, too. And sulking. They love my sister, though.
Tammi-Louise: Yeah. If it weren't for that I'd never have left them.
Vaughn has been told by Sim Brother to hug Wilbur for over a minute without saying a word.
Tammi-Louise: Maybe they'll let the dogs in for Christmas day if we're here? As a treat?
Wilbur: Depends if anyone else in here objects to it. Someone might be allergic. Or they might hate dogs.
Tammi-Louise: People who hate dogs should be shot.
Wilbur: Hey there, pal. You doing OK?
Wilbur: Aw. This is nice. Is everything OK?
Tammi-Louise: (Laughs). What's going on!?
Wilbur: Of what do I owe this pleasure, man?
Tammi-Louise: This is... OK this is a bit weird now. (Laughs).
Tammi-Louise: Why the fuck am I being left out!?
As the highest ranked couple to be staying in the main bedroom, Maximillian and Zsa Zsa have been told they have the task of decorating the tree how they wish.
Zsa Zsa: This is so exciting!
Maximillian: Do I get to be a part of this?
Zsa Zsa: Why wouldn't you, darling?
Maximillian: Because you turn into an authoritarian lunatic when it comes to decorating for Christmas.
Zsa Zsa: Nonsense. You just can't take constructive criticism.
Maximillian: You locked me in the closet last year to keep me away while you decorated the main bedroom.
Zsa Zsa: And I should've left you there.
Emery has invited Kim and Roy into the hot tub.
Roy: Thanks again for this, buddy.
Emery: No problem. It's nice to spend some time with you guys.
Kim: How are you feeling? I heard you got quite drunk last night and ended up sleeping in the diary room? (Laughs).
Emery: Ha. I knew that would get around. I'm fine now. Had a heck of a headache earlier though.
Roy: I bet. We were the same at your age.
Emery: Oh, yeah?
Roy: We loved a drink. Had a lot of fun. (Laughs).
Kim: Give me a sherry this time of year and I'm up for anything.
Emery: Kim, I want to put that to the test in here at some point.
Kim: (Laughs). Deal.
Aleks and Naveen are in the kitchen.
Naveen: Aren't Kim and Roy in the hot tub with Emery?
Aleks: Think so. I've abandoned him.
Naveen: (Laughs). And why's that?
Aleks: Because I can't be arsed to sit in a hot tub with them.
Naveen: (Gasps). Dude!
Aleks: Just being honest.
Naveen: What a bitch! They seem like nice people.
Aleks: I'm sure they are. And I have no problem with them at all. I just know I'd have fuck all to talk to them about and I really haven't got the patience today.
Naveen: I hope they don't think that, though.
Aleks: Nah. I just said I have a headache.
Naveen: Fair enough. (Laughs).
Aleks: I'm a nice guy really. I just hate small-talk.
Naveen: No. I get that.
Naveen: All right?
Kalyani: How long's dinner gonna be?
Naveen: Another twenty minutes or so.
Kalyani: I'm starving.
Naveen: Oh, I'm sorry I'm not going at your preferred pace, your highness.
Kalyani: Well, sorry doesn't quite cut it. This bitch needs to eat.
Sasha is in the diary room.
Sim Brother: Hello, Sasha.
Sim Brother: How are you today?
Sasha: I'm pretty good thanks! Excited for what the next few days are going to entail. We'll have a challenge or something at some point to decide the next rankings and I really want to get out of that bunker. I assume we'll also nominate at some point and while that's not nice, it'll feel like we're actually starting this experience. It'll feel real.
Maximillian and Zsa Zsa are admiring their work.
Zsa Zsa: You know what, I wasn't sure about the colours at first, but I'm pleased with this.
Maximillian: It's lovely, darling. I think we did good.
Zsa Zsa: I do, too. It's put me in a lovely Christmassy mood. If only we had some Michael Buble playing. It'd have been perfect.
Aleks and Emery are having an early night and are watching The Holiday.
Aleks: Are you not watching this!? You love this scene.
Emery: I'd like to, but I'm just so tired babe.
Aleks: You might wanna chance and get into bed properly then.
Emery: I can't be bothered.
Aleks: You could always go and sleep in the diary room again?
Emery: Sofa's comfortable, to be fair. It's just so bright.
Aleks: How was it with Kim and Roy earlier, anyway?
Emery: Fine. They're nice people.
Naveen, Roy, and Vaughn are by the campfire. Vaughn has been told by Sim Brother to tell Naveen and Roy a long, boring story that never ends.
Vaughn: And so, after all was said and done, I went to the shop in the end.
Roy: Oh, right.
Vaughn: But that wasn't all, I bumped into my neighbour. And she's got bad eye-sight. So she didn't really know who I was. So I said 'Doris, it's me. Vaughn.' It took her ages to remember.
Naveen: I see.
Vaughn: In the end, I helped her with her shopping and walked her home. Then I said hello to her dog. She's got one of those sheepdogs, you know?
Naveen: Nice dogs.
Vaughn: Yeah. Think it died last year. She was so upset.
Naveen: That's a shame.
Vaughn: She adopted another dog this summer though. Think it's a terrier, of some sort. Anyway, back to this day, after I walked Doris home, I went home and found Sasha on the phone to her mother. Turns out, her TV had broke and she wanted me to go around and fix it. But I hadn't eaten dinner and I was starving and it's at least a thirty minute drive.
Sim Brother: Vaughn, tell Naveen and Roy that you've forgotten the rest of the story and abruptly walk away.
Vaughn: And so I had a quick microwave meal, went round, and... oh, I can't remember what happened next.
Naveen: What the actual fuck was that?
Roy: Naveen, what just happened!?
Naveen: I have no idea, mate. What was he on about!?
Roy: I honestly wanted to die just then. That was insufferably dull.
Naveen: I wonder what's got into him. He's acting so weird. (Laughs),
Roy: Good God. That was painful.
What Vaughn doesn't know is that Sim Brother has called Aisha to the diary room to give her the exact same secret mission.
Aisha: So, if I pull this off, we get a gym?
Sim Brother: That's correct, Aisha.
Aisha: OK. Cool. I love a work-out so I have to nail this.
Thirteen minutes later...
Sim Brother has told Aisha to tell Corinne, Kim, and Vaughn about a book she was halfway through reading before entering the house, Little Women. Aisha has not actually read the book.
Aisha: It's a beautiful tale. Honestly. It's about... sisters.
Kim: I love it. It's definitely one of my favourite novels. The movie released last year was brilliant, too.
Corinne: I didn't know you were reading this, honey.
Aisha: You never ask me what I'm reading. (Laughs).
Corinne: True. I'm not much of a book reader.
Aisha: I do it all on my Kindle anyway. I was so sad I didn't get to finish it before I came in.
Sim Brother: Vaughn, tell Aisha that you've read it and that Beth dies.
Vaughn: I read it.
Aisha: Oh. Did you enjoy it?
Vaughn: Yeah. Beth dies.
Corinne: What the hell, man!?
Sim Brother: Aisha, get increasingly upset until the point of hysteria.
Aisha: Beth... Beth dies!?
Kim: Oh, Vaughn. You've ruined it.
Corinne: That's such a shitty thing to do!
Corinne: Oh, babe. Not to worry. Hopefully by the time we get out, you might forget?
Aisha: How can I forget about Beth!? BETH! This is so upsetting! I loved her! She's my favourite character!
Kim: Aw. Honey.
Sim Brother: Vaughn, tell Aisha that Laurie ends up with Amy.
Vaughn: You know that Laurie ends up with Amy though, right?
Sim Brother: Aisha, get hysterical and storm off.
Corinne: Seriously!? Dude, shut the fuck up!
Kim: Vaughn, that's quite unfair! Spoilers are so annoying.
Vaughn: My bad.
Corinne: Why did you do that, man!? I thought you were a cool guy!
Aisha: I can't believe this. I was enjoying this book and now it's all ruined!
Kim: You'll still love it, honey. I've read it numerous times over the years.
Aisha: Beth dies!? Laurie and Amy!? I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS!
Aisha: I WANT TO GO HOME!
Kim: Oh, boy.
Corinne: Wow. I've never seen her act like that.
Corinne: Babe, she's been less upset at funerals.
Sim Brother has told the housemates about Vaughn and Aisha's secret missions and has given them access to the gym.
Corinne: Wow! This is amazing!
Vaughn: I'm so glad that task is over. It was so stressful.
Aisha: I can't believe you've been doing it all day!
Vaughn: (Laughs). And I'm so glad I didn't actually ruin a book for you!
Aisha: I barely even know anything about it!
Kalyani: You both did so well, guys.
Naveen: And this makes sense after that mind-numbingly dull story you told us earlier.
Vaughn: That was so painful.
Naveen: Try listening to it! (Laughs).
Kalyani: It's so nice to have a new room!
Naveen: You gonna use it, babe?
Kalyani: Depends if I can be botherd.
Corinne: Ha. Woman after my own heart.