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Sim Brother Couples 2: Live Launch

Updated: Dec 6, 2020


Preeya: Hello...


Preeya: And welcome to the live launch of Sim Brother Couples: Series Two! Can you believe it!? We’re back! And for Christmas! What perfect timing! Tonight, seven couples will enter the house beside me for several weeks of fun, frolics, and Sim Brother goodness! And to clarify: the couples will be one housemate! They’ll nominate together and be evicted together, just like the previous couples series way back in 2006! Before we meet our line-up who are going to spend the holiday season with us, shall we look at the house?


Preeya: Up we go!

Preeya: And in we go! I love the entrance here. Very pretty.

Preeya: This hallway serves at the midway point to the house. On this floor, we have a task room through that door there. We have the diary room and another room you will be seeing more of later, but let’s head downstairs, shall we?


Preeya: Down into the living area!


Preeya: I have to say, I love the layout of this room. It’s comfy and there’s obviously lots of Christmas décor to keep everything festive!


Preeya: And there’s a tree. Naturally.

Preeya: Through here is a small toilet. No need to show you. It’s pretty basic.

Preeya: A nice dining area here. Room for all the couples to sit together... whether they do or not... well, you’ll see later.

Preeya: Here’s the kitchen! And I really like this! It has an old fashioned, cottage theme and it’s quite homely! Not many decorations though, but maybe that’ll change the closer we get to Christmas?


Preeya: Love the windows here, too. And for what I believe is the first time ever... we have a washer and a dryer! Housemates are gonna have to sort out their own clothes! Wonder how that’ll go down? In my series, we had ours dry-cleaned. Those days are clearly gone.


Preeya: Out into the garden!

Preeya: There’s not a great amount of stuff out here, as it’s so cold the housemates won’t spend a great deal of time out here, but there’s a campfire over there and an ice skating rink.

Preeya: There’s a lot of open space! And there’s some things over there, as you might notice. Hm? Wonder what all that is? Stay tuned.

Preeya: Back upstairs. There’s one thing I wanna point out quick, right over here... tucked away...

Preeya: Is a comfy little snug! How nice is that!? I love it. Quite a few bitching sessions will occur there, no doubt.

Preeya: Up we go! Let’s see the bedroom!

Preeya: I LOVE this room so much! It’s like a pretty loft!

Preeya: It’s very warm up here so I can imagine with all these couples shacked up together, it might get a bit hot! I love the rugs in here.

Preeya: There’s five double beds here, but seven couples going in? Hm. Wonder what that’s about?


Preeya: Through the doors near the stairs is a bathroom. Quite simple, but nice at the same time. I love the bath.

Preeya: Let’s quickly head into the diary room.

Preeya: Oh, wow! Here it is! How lovely!

Sim Brother: Hello, Preeya.

Preeya: Hi, old friend! How are you?

Sim Brother: Sim Brother is expecting company.

Preeya: You’re as blunt as ever. Want me to go, then?

Sim Brother: Thank you, Preeya. You’re now free to leave the diary room.

Preeya: Right! Great! So nice to see you again as well, big guy! Let’s get straight to it and meet the first couple!

Preeya: It’s Maximillian and Zsa Zsa!

Maximillian: Howdy, folks! I’m Maximillian and this is my good lady wife, Zsa Zsa.

Zsa Zsa: I’m his better half.

Maximillian: No arguments there. We’re from the great US state of Colorado. I’m forty-three.

Zsa Zsa: And I’m forty-five.

Maximillian: And who would believe it!?

Zsa Zsa: You’re trying too hard.

Maximillian: Sorry, Dear. As for our occupations, I’m an author. Not that successful of one, mind you, but I’m comfortable.

Zsa Zsa: And I’m a journalist.

Maximillian: How long have we been together?

Zsa Zsa: You’re asking me because you don’t know or because you want me to say?

Maximillian: Uh... the latter?

Zsa Zsa: Eighteen years together, sixteen married.

Maximillian: That sounds about right.

Maximillian: I was with her sister orginally.

Zsa Zsa: Why bring that up?

Maximillian: Because it’s a funny story?

Zsa Zsa: (Laughs). Yes, well, there was no funny buinsess! I didn’t steal my sister’s man.

Maximillian: You sort of did.

Zsa Zsa: You’d broke up and she was the one who introduced me to you!

Maximillian: Keep digguing the hole, home wrecker.

Zsa Zsa: You’re intolerable. Anyway, we’re quite the eccentric couple as you might have seen, so we’re natural housemates!

Maximillian: What she said.

Preeya: It’s Maximillian and Zsa Zsa, everyone!

Maximillian: Good evening!

Zsa Zsa: Lovely to meet you!

Preeya: You, too! Love the monocle, Maximillian!

Maximillian: Why, thank you.

Zsa Zsa: He was beside himself with excitement when he saw that in the shop. (Laughs).

Preeya: How you both feeling?

Zsa Zsa: Excited... nervous. This is the sort of thing we’d never normally dream of doing so we’re really throwing ourselves into the deep end.

Maximillian: They’ll love us! Or we’ll be the first ones out.

Preeya: (Laughs). Be confident. Best of luck, guys! In you go!

Maximillian: Very exciting. Wait up, will you!?


Zsa Zsa: Wow. Quite nice, huh?

Maximillian: It’s not bad, by any means.

Zsa Zsa: Nice and warm in here.

Zsa Zsa: Wow! Look at this! How lovely!

Maximillian: Charming, isn’t it? Looks like we’re the first ones in.

Zsa Zsa: Good! I would’ve hated to have walked in last to a crowded house. Would’ve been really intimdating.

Maximillian: Starting to feel real.

Zsa Zsa: It is, isn’t it? The next three weeks begins right now...

Preeya: So, that’s Maximillian and Zsa Zsa! They seem like a laugh, don’t they? And did you see their outfits? Someone’s got money! (Laughs). Let’s meet the second couple!

Preeya: It’s Aisha and Corinne!

Aisha: Hello, everyone! I’m Aisha, and this is my girlfriend, Corinne.

Corinne: Fiancée.

Aisha: Yes. Sorry, babe. I honestly keep forgetting.

Corinne: Great. (Laughs). I’m thirty and Aisha’s twenty-eight and we’ve been together for just over a year.

Aisha: Feels so much longer, though.

Corinne: In a good way!?

Aisha: Well, of course.

Corinne: I was born in bred in Liverpool, hence my awful accent.

Aisha: (Laughs). Land of the Beatles, though!

Corinne: Overrated.

Aisha: Urgh. We’ve had this conversation before and we almost rowed. (Laughs). Anyway, I’m originally from Pakistan but moved over to the UK when I was two.

Aisha: Coming out as queer and being in a lesbian relationship has been hard to say, the least. Most of my family weren’t accepting, but some are coming around.

Corinne: And me being so head-strong and over-protective hasn’t exactly helped things.

Aisha: No. But you mean well.

Corinne: Thanks, babe. I really do.

Aisha: At the end of the day, I am who I am and I’m with the woman I love! There’s nothing more to it.

Corinne: Amen to that!

Preeya: It’s Aisha and Corinne!

Aisha: Hiya!

Corinne: Man, I’m so pumped for this!

Preeya: How are you both feeling? You’re about to become Sim Brother housemates!

Aisha: I’m really quite nervous! I’m glad I’m not going in alone, put it that way.

Corinne: And I’m just ecstatic! I’ve been a fan of this show since I was a kid so as you can imagine, this is a dream come true!

Preeya: How well do you think you’ll do?

Aisha: Oh, I don’t know. The trouble maker next to me can rile people up on occasion.

Corinne: Nonsense! We’re gonna win!

Preeya: (Laughs). That’s the spirit! In you go, ladies! Best of luck!

Corinne: Ready, baby? Aisha: Ready. You lead the way.


Corinne: Wow. Look at this.

Aisha: It’s like a rich old manor.

Corinne: The complete opposite of our shithole flat. (Laughs).

Aisha: Eee! Hi, everyone!

Corinne: The entertainment has arrived!

Maximillian: Hello there, my friend! I’m Maximillian! Love the dress! It’s quite striking!

Corinne: Why, thank you. That’s what I was going for. I’m Corinne.

Aisha: Hiya! I’m Aisha!

Zsa Zsa: Aisha, darling, I’m Zsa Zsa! You look radiant!

Aisha: Me!? Look at you!

Zsa Zsa: Oh, stop! (Laughs).

Corinne: You look like the bloke from the Monopoly game with one of those on.

Maximillian: The monocle? Well, actually, that’s what the internet likes to refer to as an example of the Mandela Effect.

Corinne: Huh?

Maximillian: Something people assume to be true that actually isn’t. The Monopoly Man doesn’t actually have a monocole.

Corinne: What!? No way!

Maximillian: Way.

Corinne: I’m Googling that when I get out. I don’t believe you.

Maximillian: (Laughs). Feel free.

Maximillian: Hello there! I’m Maximillian!

Aisha: What a name! I’m Aisha!

Maximillian: You have a lovely name yourself! And you look a million dollars!

Aisha: That’s so nice of you to say. Thank you.

Corinne: Your other half is a character! (Laughs).

Zsa Zsa: Oh, absolutely. He’s great, though!

Corinne: Yeah! For sure! I’m Corinne!

Zsa Zsa: I’m Zsa Zsa, darling. Nice to meet you.

Preeya: (Laughs). Loving this bunch already. Let’s throw in another pair!

Preeya: It’s Kalyani and Naveen!

Naveen: Hey! I’m Naveen! I’m twenty-six and I work in insurance.

Kalyani: And I’m Kalyani, also twenty-six, and I’m a model who also babysits kids on the side. (Laughs). Quite a mixed career.

Naveen: We met when we were twelve, got together when we were fifteen, and that’s how it’s been ever since.

Kalyani: Couldn’t even imagine being with someone else.

Naveen: No. It’s wrong.

Kalyani: Haven’t proposed yet though, have you?

Naveen: (Laughs). I’ll get there.

Kalyani: Well, I won’t wait forever!

Naveen: You’ll wait forever for me, babe.

Kalyani: Even so, don’t take the piss.

Kalyani: We’re both from Indian families, so as far as all of our relatives are concerned, we should’ve married years ago!

Naveen: Here we go. (Laughs).

Kalyani: Maybe I’ll shack up with someone in the house? An affair! That’d make the headlines.

Naveen: Yeah. Right.

Kalyani: (Laughs). Just don’t propose on reality TV, please. That’s so cringey.

Naveen: I had no intention!

Kalyani: Good.

Naveen: See what I have to put up with!? She’s such a diva!

Kalyani: You give as good as you get.

Preeya: It’s Kalyani and Naveen!

Naveen: Hey!

Kalyani: So nice to meet you, Preeya!

Preeya: Likewise! And what a gorgeous couple you are!

Kalyani: Why thank you! You’re not so bad yourself!

Naveen: Agreed. Beautiful!

Preeya: You pair of charmers! You act that nice in that house, you’ll never be nominated.

Naveen: That’s the plan.

Preeya: Ooh. You have a game-plan?

Naveen: Not as such, but play it smart, I say. Don’t cause any trouble, keep your head down, and you’ll probably get past the first few rounds of nominations.

Kalyani: Exactly.

Preeya: Well, I’m very eager to find out how you’ll get on! In you go, guys! Good luck!

Naveen: Ready for this?

Kalyani: Do you really need to ask?

Naveen: Looking fine, girl.

Kalyani: Mmhm.

Kalyani: Wow. It’s lovely in here.

Naveen: And into the madhouse we go.

Corinne: Whoa! You guys are hot!

Naveen: Ha! Cheers! I’m Naveen, babe!

Corinne: I’m Corinne! This is my other half, Aisha.

Kalyani: Hiya! So nice to meet you!

Aisha: You, too! What’s your name?

Kalyani: I’m Kalyani! Aisha, right?

Aisha: That’s it!

Kalyani: Lovely to meet you!

Aisha: Hi! I’m Aisha!

Naveen: I’m Naveen! You look lovely!

Aisha: Thank you so much!

Corinne: I’m Corinne, gorgeous!

Kalyani: Hi, babe! I’m Kaylani! Love the hair and the dress!

Corinne: Cheers! I’m re-claiming pink for the tough girls!

Kalyani: (Laughs). Oh, right.

Maximillian: Hello there, radiant one! I’m Maximillian!

Kalyani: Hiya! I’m Kalyani! So nice to meet you!

Maximillian: Likewise!

Zsa Zsa: Hello there, handsome! I’m Zsa Zsa!

Maximillian: I can hear you, Dear!?

Zsa Zsa: Good!

Kalyani: (Laughs). More than enough Naveen to go around.

Naveen: My thought’s exactly!

Zsa Zsa: Ooh!

Preeya: Three couples down, four to go! Let’s meet the next pair!

Preeya: It’s Kim and Roy!

Roy: Hey there! I’m Roy, I’m fifty-one, and I’m a cars salesman from the great state of Missouri!

Kim: And I’m his wife of twenty-seven years, Kim! I’m forty-eight and I’m a housewife! I’m orginally from Kentucky.

Roy: We decided to apply for this reality show to prove to people that conservative Americans from the middle of the country aren’t actually wackos or small minded bigots but people who are actually open, welcoming, and just like everybody else really.

Kim: We all want the best for each other, regardless of where you stand on political issues.

Roy: Absolutely, hon.

Roy: Us two are the perfect example! I’ve voted democratic most of my life, whereas you’ve been predominantly Republican.

Kim: That’s right. And most of the time we’re perfectly happy to agree to disagree. I think it adds spice to our marriage personally!

Roy: Exactly. Who wants to agree with everyone all the time!? Although, the Bush v Gore saga in 2000 was a tough one.

Kim: You spent a few nights in the spare bedroom that month, honey. (Laughs).

Roy: And it was your side who won!

Kim: (Laughs). It’s in the past.

Kim: We’re proud parents to four kids! Three girls and a boy!

Roy: All of whom are going to be teenagers soon!

Kim: Yep! Our youngest is about to be thirteen.

Roy: Scary times lie ahead.

Kim: (Laughs). The thought of not being with them over Christmas is daunting and upsetting, but they’re staying and isolating with their Grandparents and cousins in a big house where they’ll be having the time of their lives!

Roy: We’re the ones who’ll miss them, not the other way around!

Kim: Probably! As long as we’ve left them presents, they’re clearly not bothered.

Preeya: It’s Kim and Roy!

Kim: Hello! This is so much fun!

Roy: Hi, Preeya!

Preeya: How you both feeling?

Kim: Nervous and excited! But more nervous! (Laughs).

Roy: I’m cool and collected! Just eager to see who we might be living with for the next few weeks.

Preeya: You’ll soon find out. How did your kids take it when you told them you were coming in?

Kim: There were some tears, but when they found out we could potentially come home with money, they soon cheered up!

Roy: (Laughs). Our eldest two weren’t bothered.

Kim: No, they’re all fine. It’ll be us who miss them more! Preeya: Well, good luck getting that money, guys! In you go!

Roy: Heady, honey?

Kim: Ready!

Roy: Ladies first.

Kim: Here we go!


Roy: This is exciting!

Kim: Best behaviour!

Roy: Of course.

Roy: Greetings, roomies!

Aisha: Hiya! I’m Aisha!

Roy: I’m Roy! Nice to meet you!

Aisha: And you. Where you from? America?

Roy: Yes, indeed! Missouri!

Aisha: Oh, cool!

Kim: Love the hair! I’m Kim!

Corinne: Thank you! I like your dress! I’m Corinne.

Kim: You remind me a bit of Pink! (Laughs).

Corinne: Ha! I’ll take that! She’s all right!

Maximillian: Hello, friend! Welcome to the madhouse!

Roy: Ah! Another American!

Maximillian: Indeedio! I’m from Colorado.

Roy: Missouri.

Maximillian: My apologies.

Roy: (Laughs). You joker! I’m Roy.

Maximillian: Maximillian.

Roy: Hey! I’m Roy!

Corinne: I’m Corinne. Nice to meet you.

Roy: And you!

Preeya: Three couples left. Let’s meet couple number five!



Preeya: It’s Aleks and Emery!

Emery: Hey, fuckers! I’m Emery. I’m twenty-nine and I’m a hairdresser from Essex.

Aleks: And I’m Aleks, I’m thirty-one and a teacher. And I’ve been putting up with this foul-mouthed monster for about three years now.

Emery: You wouldn’t have me any other way!

Aleks: (Laughs). Wouldn’t I?

Emery: The saying ooposites attract is probably a bit of a cliché, but it’s definitely true in our case, isn’t it?

Aleks: I can’t stand you half the time.

Emery: Likewise! And yet we love each other.

Aleks: Clearly. Otherwise I wouldn’t be going into a reality TV show with you! (Laughs).

Emery: Yes, this was mainly my idea, but you’re into this, too! You’re the most competitive person I know!

Aleks: True. We had a blazing row last Christmas over Cluedo, didn’t we?

Emery: Not that we need much excuse to row.

Aleks: Well, you changed the rules.

Emery: Don’t start.

Emery: I’m definitely the louder, more extroverted of us two. You’re silent, more calculating.

Aleks: Yep.

Emery: When we row, I could literally shout and call him every name under the sun and he just sits there unphased. He’ll take a minute and then just come out with one line that’ll rip me in two.

Aleks: You deserve it most of the time.

Emery: (Laughs). You’re such a little shit.

Preeya: It’s Aleks and Emery! Hi, boys!

Emery: Hey!

Aleks: Hi, Preeya. Very nice to meet you.

Preeya: And you! How you both feeling? You’re about to become housemates!

Aleks: I’m aprehensive, but also excited for what this is going to bring. I’ve not really watched these shows before, so I’m intrigued.

Emery: He’s gonna be a natural dickhead, trust me.

Aleks: Thanks, Emery.

Preeya: (Laughs). You two are going to be great! I can tell! Do you think you’ll make it quite far?

Aleks: Depends! If the house is full of people I can’t stand, I’ll probably be banging on the door to get out.

Emery: And we tend to like different people as well, so it’ll be interesting.

Preeya: Best of luck to you both! Get in there!

Emery: Wahey!

Emery: Whoa... shitting it now.

Aleks: You!? Mr. Confident!? Emery: I know.

Emery: Nice ass.

Aleks: Oh, grow up. (Laughs).

Emery: Ooh. Nice.

Aleks: Not bad. It’s like a fancy hotel.


Emery: Hiya, everyone!

Aleks: Hey!

Kalyani: Yay! Gays! (Laughs). I’m Kalyani, honey.

Aleks: Hey! (Laughs). I’m Aleks. You look sensational.

Kalyani: Oh, you smooth talker! You’re not too bad yourself.

Emery: Hey there, handsome! I’m Emery!

Naveen: Hey, dude! I’m Naveen!

Emery: We’ve got good looking men, haven’t we?

Kalyani: Sure have! (Laughs). How are you, darling? I’m Kalyani.

Emery: I’m great! I’m Emery!

Kalyani: Love it!

Aleks: Hey, man. I’m Aleks.

Naveen: Nice to meet you, mate. I’m Naveen.

Aleks: Hi! I’m Aleks! Kim: Hi, sweetie! I’m Kim. Lovely to meet you.

Aleks: And you! You have beautiful hair.

Kim: Why thank you.

Zsa Zsa: You’re a ball of energy, aren’t you? I’m Zsa Zsa!

Emery: I sure am! Love the name! I’m Emery!

Zsa Zsa: Lovely to meet you, sweetheart.

Preeya: So, that’s Aleks and Emery! Let’s meet the next pair!

Preeya: It’s Tammi-Louise and Wilbur!

Wilbur: Hi there. I’m Wilbur, I’m fifty-eight and I’m from Wales.

Tammi-Louise: And I’m Tammi-Louise, I’m twenty-four and I’m originally from Manchester but now living in the Welsh countryside with this one!

Wilbur: It was quite a culture shock for her. (Laughs).

Tammi-Louise: People always bring up our age difference as it’s the first thing we’re always asked about when we’re a couple. It can get a bit irritating as we get a lot of skepitcal, judgemental looks.

Wilbur: But at the end of the day, we know we love each other so we’re not bothered what people think.

Tammi-Louise: I had money before I met you, but people just assume I’m a gold-digger.

Wilbur: You barely take a penny from me.

Tammi-Louise: (Shrugs). Doesn’t matter. Nobody buys it.

Wilbur: Oh well. We met a few years ago and hit it off straight away. We got engaged last Christmas.

Tammi-Louise: We’re not in any rush to get married though. We’re going with the flow.

Wilbur: Sometimes soon will be nice, though!

Tammi-Louise: Not this time of year! I’ve always wanted a summer wedding.

Tammi-Louise: We’re quite similar as people, too. We both have a great sense of humour, quite a dark sense of humour sometimes actually, and we have similar interests.

Wilbur: Horse riding, looking after our animals, films, music...

Tammi-Louise: It barely feels like we have an age difference at all. And to be fair, I thought he was in his forties! Had no idea he was approaching sixty.

Wilbur: Thanks, I think?

Tammi-Louise: It was a compliment!

Wilbur: Half of one, maybe? (Laughs).

Preeya: It’s Tammi-Louise and Wilbur!

Wilbur: Whoo! Hey, Preeya!

Tammi-Louise: Lovely to meet you!

Preeya: And you, too! You both look stunning!

Tammi-Louise: Thank you!

Preeya: How you both feeling? You’re about to become housemates!

Wilbur: So excited I can’t tell you! We’ve been raring for this all day.

Tammi-Louise: Yeah, it went so slow waiting around.

Preeya: I bet it did! How do you think you’ll get on in there?

Wilbur: Well, hopefully they’re all open-minded, nice people!

Tammi-Louise: And if they’re not, we’ll nominate them out. (Laughs).

Preeya: Well, that’s how it works! In you go, guys! Best of luck!

Wilbur: Thank you, Preeya!

Tammi-Louise: Here we go! You go first! I’m scared. (Laughs).

Tammi-Louise: Wait up, though!

Wilbur: Sorry, babe!

Wilbur: Wow.

Tammi-Louise: This is gorgeous!


Wilbur: Hey!

Tammi-Louise: Hiya, everyone!

Aisha: Hiya! I’m Aisha!

Wilbur: Hey, Aisha! You look lovely! I’m Wilbur!

Aisha: Lovely to meet you, Wilbur! Love the suit!

Wilbur: Thank you!

Corinne: You’re stunning! Tammi-Louise: Aw, thanks! As are you! I’m Tammi-Louise.

Corinne: Lovely name! I’m Corinne. You’re shaking!

Tammi-Louise: Just a bit nervous!

Corinne: Aw! We’ll all look after you!

Wilbur: Hey, fella! I’m Wilbur! Emery: We have a Daddy, ladies and gents! Wilbur: (Laughs). Oh, goodness me!

Emery: Haha! Sorry! I’m Emery!

Wilbur: Don’t apologise. It’s all in good fun! (Laughs).

Tammi-Louise: Hiya! I’m Tammi-Louise!

Roy: Beautiful name! I’m Roy!

Tammi-Louise: Aw! Thank you! My Grandad was called Roy!

Roy: Was?

Tammi-Louise: He was abducted by aliens.

Roy: What!? Tammi-Louise: (Laughs). I’m joking. He passed away.

Preeya: Ha! That joke was unexpected! Oh, what a line-up we have so far! Let’s meet the final pair, shall we?

Preeya: It’s Sasha and Vaughn!

Vaughn: Hey there! I’m Vaughn, I’m thirty-two and I’m born in bred in London! My parents were immigrants from Jamacia.

Sasha: And I’m Sasha, I’m twenty-nine, and I’m also from London. My mother’s British and my Dad was from Maryland in the states.

Vaughn: And how long have we been together, babe?

Sasha: Almost three years! We got married earlier this year.

Vaughn: We’ve been through quite a lot in those three short years.

Sasha: We sure have.

Vaughn: We met online, became really close friends, and we started to get closer and then...

Sasha: I shook things up by revealing I was transgender.

Vaughn: I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t really take it well. I went cold... stopped talking... and it hurt Sasha. A lot.

Sasha: I understood, though. It was a lot to take in.

Vaughn: But I realised I had fallen in love with her, and when I really thought about it, why did it matter in the least? It didn’t. So we got together and it’s been amazing ever since.

Sasha: He’s truly such an amazing guy. He’s so open-minded, sweet, funny, and protective, but not in a domineering way. He’s the perfect.

Vaughn: You’re too bad yourself, babe.

Sasha: I hope we show people that anyone who’s trans who might be worried that they can never find someone who will understand, they absolutely can.

Vaughn: Yeah. That’ll be amazing. Plus winning and getting the money would be great, too!

Sasha: (Laughs). It’d be the cherry on the cake, but it’s not the main thing.

Vaughn: No. Well...

Sasha: Vaughn! (Laughs).

Preeya: It’s Sasha and Vaughn!

Vaughn: ‘Sup?

Sasha: So excited to meet you, Preeya!

Preeya: And you too, darling! You both look great!

Sasha: Thanks! So do you!

Preeya: How’s it feel knowing you’re about to become housemates?

Vaughn: I’m totally pumped! I applied for a series some years back and didn’t make it in so to be going in now with my wife is just incredible!

Sasha: And I’ve been a fan for a long time so it really is a surreal but an amazing feeling.

Preeya: How well do you think you’ll do in there?

Sasha: I think we’re lovely people! We can have a laugh and be fun, but we’ll stand our ground, too.

Vaughn: Yeah. We don’t put up with shit.

Sasha: So, we’ll have to see, I suppose?

Preeya: We most certainly will! Best of luck, you two! In you go!

Sasha: Ready?

Vauhgn: Hell yeah.


Vaughn: Now this is what I’m talking about.

Sasha: It’s amazing!


Sasha: Hiya, everyone!

Vaughn: It’s so good to be here!

Zsa Zsa: Hi there! I’m Zsa Zsa, darling!

Vaughn: Zsa Zsa, you look gorgerous. I’m Vaughn.

Zsa Zsa: Pleasure to meet you, Vaughn!

Aleks: Hey, lovely! I’m Aleks!

Sasha: Nice to meet you, Aleks! I’m Sasha.

Tammi-Louise: Wow, you’re so pretty!

Sasha: Thanks! As are you! I’m Sasha!

Tammi-Louise: I’m Tammi-Louise! Great to meet you!

Preeya: So, we have our seven couples: Maximillian and Zsa Zsa, Aisha and Corinne, Kalyani and Naveen, Kim and Roy, Aleks and Emery, Tammi-Louise and Wilbur, and Sasha and Vaughn. What a line-up we have for these next few weeks but now, it’s time to find out what they have in store for their first week in the house. Let’s hand over to Sim Brother, who has gathered the housemates on the sofas.

Sim Brother: This is Sim Brother, housemates, welcome to the Sim Brother Couples house.

Vaughn: Wahey! Kim: It’s great to be here!

Sim Brother: Please pay close attention to what Sim Brother is about to tell you. Every five days, the social status of each couple will be changed depending on a series of challenges. All seven couples will be ranked from first to seventh. The couple ranked first will have access to their own luxury bedroom, en-suite, and outside balcony area equipped with hot tub.

Sasha: Ooh!

Emery: I like the sound of that!

Sim Brother: They will also have the most money to spend on shopping for the next five days. The second couple will have the next highest amount of money to spend on their shopping, and so on and so forth. The couple ranked last will not only have to do the laundry for the highest ranked couple...

Corinne: Oh, fucking hell.

Sim Brother: But they will only be allowed to use the toilet, wash, prepare fod, eat, and sleep in their allocated quarters outside.

Kalyani: Outside!?

Aisha: Surely not!?

Kim: It’s winter!

Sim Brother: If the lowest ranked couple even steps foot in any of the bathrooms, bedroom, or kitchen in the main house, there will be serious consequences.

Aleks: Wow.

Sim Brother: The first challenge to decide the couple’s rankings is about to begin. Around the house, Sim Brother has hidden seven small nutcrackers. The one in the kitchen counter does not count. The bedroom on the top floor does not have any nutcrackers, so housemates should avoid going up there. The colours of the nutcrackers will determine the ranking of the couple who find it.

Corinne: So, it’s just random?

Wilbur: Yeah. No skill even required for this one. It’s just gonna be luck.

Sim Brother: One person from each couple must start looking... NOW!

Tammi-Louise: Yeah. You go, babe. My shoes are killing me.

Wilbur: (Laughs). Oh course.

Aisha: Go on, Corinne! Get us a good one!

Zsa Zsa: Have fun, guys!

Wilbur: Hmm...

Wilbur: Oh, there we go! Found one already!

Corinne: Gotta be one in here somewhere.

Naveen: I see you’re following me! Corinne: No rules against it, buddy. (Laughs).

Naveen: Aha! Yes! Got one!

Corinne: No fair!

Corinne: I found that first, Sim Brother! Naveen: Like hell you did! Get out of here! (Laughs).

Corinne: Dammit.

Naveen: She’s gonna be fun, that one.

Naveen: Got one!

Kalyani: Blue! Nice! Well done, honey!

Naveen: You got one too, Wilbur?

Wilbur: Within seconds.

Tammi-Louise: He’s quick at everything.

Wilbur: Hey!

(Everyone laughs).

Sasha: Oh, c’mon...

Sasha: Gotta be one somewhere.

Aleks: It’s freezing! Kim: I know! How can one couple be expected to sleep out here!?

Maximillian: If I get pneumonia, I will be a petulant little brat and sue.

Kim: (Laughs).

Aleks: Found one!

Maximillian: Rats!

Sasha: Yay! And it’s purple!


Aisha: How’s it going, babes?

Corinne: Shit!

Aisha: All right, then.

Kim: Oh, here’s the horrible quarters for the unlucky couple... it’s ghastly!

Kim: There’s one under the sink! Horray! I’ve got one!

Maximillian: I’m so terrible at this.

Sasha: There’s a snug area behind the stairs. That’s where I found mine.

Aleks: Oh, really?

Sasha: Yeah. It’s hidden. You have to walk round. Really comfortable, it is.

Kim: Got ours, Roy!

Roy: Way to go, honey!

Kim: It’s in the quarters for the lowest ranked couple outside.

Emery: Uh oh. How bad is it?

Kim: Not gonna lie, it’s not pretty.

Maximillian: I can’t find one! I’m telling you! I’ve looked everywhere!

Corinne: FINALLY!

Zsa Zsa: Sim Brother, I’m gonna take over from my husband because he’s about as helpful as a fox in a hen house.

Maximillian: Go on then, if you’re so clever! It’ll take you ages, mark my words.

Zsa Zsa: Uh, there’s one right behind the tree, guys?

Maximillian: Fuck.

Naveen: (Laughs).

Corinne: Finally got ours!

Aisha: Yay! Well done!

Emery: Where was it?

Corinne: Behind the presents right at the entrance.

Sasha: Well, that completely slipped me by! Hope that doesn’t bite me on the ass...

Sim Brother: This is Sim Brother...

Emery: Oh, here we go!

Wilbur: Good luck, everybody.

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the highest value was the nutcracker with...

Sim Brother: ... the white body.

Emery: Yes!

Vaughn: Bit racist.

Naveen: (Laughs).

Sim Brother: Congratulations, Aleks and Emery. You are the highest ranked couple, you will have access to your own private quarters, will have your laundry done for you, and you will live on £15 per head, per day. Meaning you will have £150 to spend on your shopping for the first five days in the house.

Emery: FUCKING AMAZING!

Zsa Zsa: Well done, boys!

Naveen: Yeah. Congrats.

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the second highest value is...

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with a yellow body! Congratulations Maximillian and Zsa Zsa, you are the second ranked couple and will live on £12 per head, per day, meaning you will have £120 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Maximillian: That I think, will do quite nicely.

Zsa Zsa: I’ll say. (Laughs).

Sasha: Well done, you two!

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the third highest value is...

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the light blue body! Congratulations, Kalyani and Naveen. You are the third ranked couple and will live on £10 per head, per day, meaning you will have £100 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Naveen: Brilliant.

Kaylani: That’s a relief. (Laughs).

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the fourth highest value is...

Sim Brother: The nutcracker with the green body!

Kim: Yes!

Roy: Thank goodness. (Laughs).

Sim Brother: Congratulations, Kim and Roy. You are the fourth ranked couple and will live on £8 per head, per day, meaning you will have £80 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Kim: We can make do on that.

Roy: Yeah.

Sim Brother: The next nutcracker with the highest value is the one with the red body.

Tammi-Louise: It’ll do!

Wilbur: Yeah. Could be worse.

Sim Brother: Tammi-Louise and Wilbur, you are the fifth ranked couple and will live on £6 per head, per day, meaning you will have £60 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Tammi-Louise: Piece of piss.

Wilbur: Yep.

Sim Brother: The next nutcracker with the highest value is the one with the dark blue body!

Corinne: Oh, THANK FUCK.

Sasha: Shit.

Aisha: Aw, guys! I’m sorry!

Sim Brother: Aisha and Corinne, you are the sixth ranked couple and will live on £4 per head, per day, meaning you will have £40 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Aisha: OK.

Corinne: Shit.

Vaughn: Count yourself lucky, I think?

Sasha: Yeah.

Sim Brother: Commiserations, Sasha and Vaughn. Your nutcracker has the lowest value and this therefore means you are the seventh ranked couple and will live on £2 per head, per day, meaning you will have £20 to spend on shopping for the first five days in the house.

Sasha: Wow.

Sim Brother: This also means you can only use your outside quarters for cooking, eating, bathing, and using the toilet, and you can only enter the kitchen if you are doing laundry for the highest ranked couple. Your sleeping quarters are located in the bunker outside.

Vaughn: Oh, boy.

Sim Brother: Higher ranked couples are permitted to buy food for lower ranked couples if they wish, but at their own discretion and they are not forced to do so. When the shopping arrives, it will be down to any couples to immediately hand over any food they wish to share. Any food not handed over within an hour of shopping being delivered, will not be allowed to be shared thereafter.

Preeya: Aw, poor Sasha and Vaughn! They’ve barely just got in and have all that to deal with straight away! They did not look pleased! But hey, what a night if you’re Aleks and Emery, huh? Let’s take a look at their exclusive areas.

Preeya: Oh, wow. Very gold. Trump Tower eat your heart out.


Preeya: They have their own en-suite, because of course.

Preeya: They also have their own balcony area with a hot tub. I believe there may be occasions in which they’re allowed to invite other couples in, but I suppose that’ll be down to Sim Brother. Let’s see what Sasha and Vaughn have in store for the next five days...

Preeya: Oh, boy. That’s bleak. I’ve been told the amount of time they have to shower is limited but they will get hot water! That’s something! Sim Brother is so cruel.

Preeya: And that’s the bunker. Let’s take a peak inside.

Preeya: How miserable. I’ve been told those beds are rock hard as well. So mean, Sim Brother!

Preeya: So, there’s our housemates now, reeling in the news they’ve just been given. And there’s no rest for the wicked either, they apparently will have to make their shopping lists immediately tomorrow morning. Oh, this’ll cause trouble. Crafty Sim Brother.

Preeya: But that’s it for tonight, I’m afraid! We certainly hope you’ve enjoyed it. It’s great to be back. If you’ve enjoyed the show, please leave a comment down below and let us know your thoughts! We’ll be back tomorrow for the highlights of the first day in the house and I’ll be back in a week to evict the first couple of the series. But for now, goodnight!

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